"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."

I'm what you'd call a "Simpsons Fanboy."

Also known as a nerd, a geek, what have you. I've seen about 250 of the 400 episodes the show has made, an own about 100 on DVDs. I've listened to commentaries, watched deleted scenes and animatics (black and white renderings of the show), and even discussed the show occasionally on a little site called Nohomers.net.

The point I think I'm trying to make is: The Simpsons have been a part of my life, and the lives of a lot of the people I've grown up with. In the same way, sports have as well. So whenever OFF (Our Favorite Family) ventures out into the cutthroat world of athletics, it's always exciting to see what their writers take off of the athletic world.

They've had episodes with multiple athletes playing themselves. Season 3's classic "Homer at the Bat" features Ken Griffey, Jr., Daryl Strawberry, Mike Scioscia, Jose Canseco, Don Mattingly, Wade Boggs, Ozzie Smith, Terry Cashman, Steve Sax and Roger Clemens as baseball players that Mr. Burns "hires" for the nuclear plant softball team.

Season 16's not-so-classic "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass" features Yao Ming, LeBron James, Warren Sapp, Michelle Kwan, and Tom Brady playing themselves as Homer gives them showboating lessons.

Usually, the show is better served using one athlete sparingly, like Joe Namath's cameo in Season 9's "Bart Star," where Namath stops short of giving Bart quarterbacking advice when Namath's car is fixed and has to leave.

There's also an episode from the previous season, the 18th in the show's history, that features Ronaldo giving, as executive producer Al Jean calls it, "The worst acting performance ever."

Sports broadcasters have also been willing to parody themselves on the show. Pat Summerall and John Madden (along with then-players Troy Aikman and Dan Marino, as well as News Corp. owner Rupert Murdoch, Dolly Parton and Fred Willard) make fun of themselves in Season 10's "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday," which was one of two episodes to air after the Super Bowl. Terry Bradshaw has made multiple appearances on the show.

The Simpsons have had little luck basing shows around sports stars for the most part, but have had much better luck through using the games themselves to connect characters. Homer and Lisa, the two most opposite characters in particular, have bonded through Lisa taking an interest in athletics. Season 3's "Lisa the Greek" unites Homer's misunderstood daughter with him when she discovers an uncanny ability for picking football games (Interesting story: The FOX network edited Lisa's Super Bowl picks three consecutive years to air in repeats prior to the big game, and Lisa was three for three in predicting victors).

Season six's "Lisa on Ice" connects them when Lisa discovers her talent at hockey. Meanwhile, Marge tries to connect with Bart through basketball (Memorable line: Marge saying "Here comes the Shaq Attack!").

Even now, there appears to be more of a sports influence on the show. Recent episodes have featured Bart going from hero to goat in little league, Lisa taking an interest in soccer because of "Bend it Like Beckham," Homer and Marge counseling a baseball player and his singing wife (played by Mandy Moore), and Springfield attempting to land an NFL franchise, only to be foiled by Grampa's mistaking the NFL Commissioner (a generic one, not Tagliabue or Goodell) for a murderer. Randy Johnson made an appearance in a recent episode at a left-handed convention.

As long as The Simpsons will be around, they will satirize sports, since it is a big part of Homer's life. The movie doesn't seem to have anything to do with sports (unless you consider sled dog racing a sport, and let's not get into that Michael Vick thing please), but let me say this: It must be passably good. It must be good enough to contend with the "South Park" movie for the titled of "Best Animated Movie ever." It doesn't have to be as great as the early seasons of the show, particularly the fourth through the eighth, when the show truly hit its stride. Frankly, we don't expect that. The show has dropped enough in quality for as long as any of us can remember that it's reached the level of "Okay, just make it worth my $10." Depending on your opinion and your age, this movie could be anywhere from five to 15 years too late.

But it will do well, and it will make hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide. You know why? Because the people who run the show have an 18-year legacy to protect with this 86-minute piece of entertainment. They know it better be good, or else the history of The Simpsons as a pop culture relic will be tainted. I doubt that will happen, but let's face it, most diehard-Simpson fans are still going in with a chip of doubt on their shoulder.

Kind of like a great sports fan. Always with that little smidgen of a doubt.

Have a great Summer, and enjoy "The Simpsons Movie" everyone. I'll be back in the Fall for more tales from the ice game.

-SFM-

Read more of Steve Lepore on Battle of NY.